Dick Hertz

From Uncyclopedia
Jump to: navigation, search
Dick Hertz.jpg

Richard Offen Hertz, LLB (born 11 November 1949), is the disputed heir to the Hertz Rental Car empire and one time member of the Board of Directors. Dick's career veered off course into the fast lane of freelance journalism, and later, into the back alleys where ladies of the evening and cheating soccer moms were known to congregate.

Driven by a life long dream to write—if not by the constant sniggering from fellow Board Members, secretaries, and even strangers in the waiting room whenever his name was even mentioned—Dick found an open space at the remote news empire of Saskatoon News & Views. There, his nimble handling of assignments from day to day excursions to emergency maneuvers, put him on the fast track to success, eventually earning him the much vied-for pole position: a daily advice column to the lovelorn.

Regrettably, he turned down a darker path, using his new position to meet many a lonely reader—often in parking lots and back alleys. His association with Jimbo Wales as lawyer, drinking buddy, and skirt chaser led him to darker places still.

The remarkable variety of social diseases which he contracted are the stuff of journalistic legend, which he wisely chose to share with others by way of his 2003 autobiography "Ouch".

Wankipedia
Nudepedia - Wankipedia - Wankimedia Foundation - Bomis - Jimbo Wales - Larry Sanger - Dick Hertz