Herman Cain

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File:Herman cain large pizza.jpg
Cain preparing an extra large pizza for another batch of pregnant high school girls with a craving

Herman "Double Pepperoni" Cain is a famous pizza delivery boy Republican Presidential candidate. Cain wants to devour the capital gains tax like it was a large pizza pie. He says Mushrooms Islam is bad for a kid's pizza America. Cain believes Italian sausage tax cuts are good for America. Sir Cain also supports extra cheese the social values America has held dear such as $10 Pizza Hut Specials marriage being only between one man and one woman. So, give him you vote for the next Little Caesar President.

If elected, Herman Cain would have the distinction of being America's third First Black President. But racists are going to ruin his chances by revealing to the media that he killed his brother Abel.

Also, the rent is too damn high!

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