Gardening

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Gardening is the entry-level battle of the Humankind vs. Nature war.

It's an attempt to control nature on a small scale, by trying to make certain plants grow in a small space, while preventing unwanted plants from growing.

Battle equipment[change]

  • Cloth gloves
  • A small trowel
  • A hoe
  • Seeds or potted plants
  • Excess free time
  • Very high hopes, or very low intelligence

Declaring battle[change]

Don't throw down the gauntlet, put on the gloves. Squat for countless hours and pull weeds. Till soil. Plant seeds. Water. Wait.

Fighting the battle[change]

Water. Pull weeds. Wait. Water. Plant more seeds. Water. Wait. Plant potted plants. Water. Wait. Pull a huge number of weeds because you were distracted with planting and watering. Water. Wait.

Surrender[change]

Wait some more. Pull weeds some more. Wince in pain at your aching back. Realize that nature is fighting 24 hours a day. Give up.