Alcoholics Anonymous

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Alcoholics Anonymous is a crime group working in many parts of the world that was created by a rich man from New York 100 years ago. Alcoholics Anonymous makes money from people who drink too much.

There are several reasons why people join AA. Lots of people who join AA are young men. One reason that men join AA is a chance to have sex with new women who come to them for help. Another reason, especially for younger people, is a chance to have a place where they belong. A third reason is boredom.

AA says that it has a way to stop drinking too much, and that it even works for women. This is the AA way to stop drinking:

  1. Believe you are a bad person who can't do anything right.
  2. Trust a stranger to fix everything for you.
  3. Sleep with him.
  4. Write about what happened.
  5. Read what you wrote to another stranger and let her tell you how bad you are.
  6. Believe you can stop being bad by doing whatever she says.
  7. Ask her to tell you what to do.
  8. Write down the names of all the people who have hurt you, and change the story so that it's all your fault.
  9. Tell them you're sorry.
  10. Do this every day from now on, writing down how everything bad that happens is because of you, and telling that to everyone around you.
  11. Having told everyone that you are the reason for everything bad that has ever happened, you are alone now, so ask God for help. When you don't get an answer, just do whatever the person in Steps 5-7 tells you to do.
  12. Try to get everyone else to do these steps, lying where needed, especially about the fact that you are in the group, as long as you keep people from burning in Drinking Hell.

This way was made up by the Oxford Group a hundred years ago. The plan was to get Adolf Hitler to believe in God, so they could take over the world and make everyone else in the world believe in God. But when Hitler died, they decided to become Alcoholics Anonymous and take over America instead. They now make people believe in God by telling them if they don't believe in God, they will be locked up for drinking too much.