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Gardening is the entry-level battle of the Humankind vs. Nature war.

It's an attempt to control nature on a small scale, by trying to make certain plants grow in a small space, while preventing unwanted plants from growing.

Battle equipment[change]

  • Cloth gloves
  • A small trowel
  • A hoe
  • Seeds or potted plants
  • Excess free time
  • Very high hopes, or very low intelligence

Declaring battle[change]

Don't throw down the gauntlet, put on the gloves. Squat for countless hours and pull weeds. Till soil. Plant seeds. Water. Wait.

Fighting the battle[change]

Water. Pull weeds. Wait. Water. Plant more seeds. Water. Wait. Plant potted plants. Water. Wait. Pull a huge number of weeds because you were distracted with planting and watering. Water. Wait.


Wait some more. Pull weeds some more. Wince in pain at your aching back. Realize that nature is fighting 24 hours a day. Give up.