GoldenEye

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GoldenEye is best known as the 17th official James Bond film, produced by Albert Broccoli before the company was headed by two dick-heads Michael G. Wilson and Barbara Broccoli, and renamed the company from "EON Productions" to "Mike & Babs Co." in 1996, followed by the death of a centurion, Albert. However, back in 1994, several actors have been screen-tested (including Daniel Craig) for the role which will portray Agent 007. The role went to an Irishman, Pierce Brosnan who previously has been compared to the character by playing a notorious disturbing good spy, Remington Steele. Since the film was released, the media started adapting it to several genres, such as novelizations, comic-books, video games, etc. It is believed that the "GoldenEye" name came from the Jamaican villa, entitled GoldenEye, where Ian Fleming (the writer of James Bond's memoirs) settled down there and wrote all of his Bond novels back in 1950s and 1960s.

Origins[change]

The name "GoldenEye" was called after an illness coming from birds, and was expanded in Jamaica, and probably around the areas where Ian Fleming's villa was located. But, in another term of the title, Fleming, himself was a military man in 1940s during the World War II in Germany where he and his team "Fagheads Unit-21", the old version of Special Forces brand at the present day, were assigned secretly to prevent Hemmler Heinrich (Hitler's right-hand) from exploding a bomb that is customized with i-don't-know-what chemical materials that, if explodes, people will take a new kind of illness that everytime they go to toilet, they will crap out gold from their bodies, one of Hitler's ambitious plans and force the public to give those to them, in order to support the German army by training and modifying them (teaching them how to fly and crap out grenades from the sky, for example) to invade the world. One of modern days' video game developers, Activision (a.k.a. Craptivision) carries the same method in producing their Call of Duty shit, including the many many GoldenEye titles. However, let's get back to the topic. Fleming's "Fagheads" succeeded the mission and they were (all of them) awarded knighthood honour by King George (Elizabeth II's father). The German failure nearly costed Hitler's life when he survived a heart-attack and later, killed Heinrich with his bare hands "Nain Nain Nain, Shvain!!" (swearing in German) he yelled while he killed his man. Fleming was very proud of the name that was called "Operation GoldenEye" that caused him to achieve knighthood honour. He was proud to a deep higher emotional level until he named his beautiful villa in Jamaica after that name and promised himself that he'll become a writer and will use his beautiful mind to create the plot of his stories which would become the legendary James Bond novels starting from 1953.

Media[change]

Film[change]

EON Productions in 1995 ran out from all of Fleming's novels and short stories, so, they were even melted down financially by the failure of the latest Bond film six years ago (although, it was very good film, excellence) in box-office. Even the then-current actor Timothy Dalton left the production. By the time EON restructured , they have been looking for a new actor to portray Agent 007. The settlement finaled between Daniel Craig (A Bad Motherfucker) and Pierce Brosnan (an Irish Wrestler). But, Albert Broccoli, after seeing Daniel Craig giving him alluring poses at a cricket match, was freaked out and turned him down in anger rage, reporting that "ahh, Craig... creating a Bond with balls of steel, who doesn't even get close in womanizing, blows up any place in every f*cking five minutes. Now, Pierce is my guy, he's got the role. I'm not looking forward in choosing a f*cker who would ruin my enterprise!". Shortly after, when he left the conference room, went to bathroom and never came out (Daniel Craig killed him obviously, if you're looking for the details, enter the beforementioned actor's profile within the brackets). But, Pierce Brosnan became James Bond, and played in a block-buster called GoldenEye, a referrence to both Ian Fleming's heroic operation and Jamaican villa (which is bigger heroic work where he created 007, the modern day saviour). The plot of the story is similar to the 1940s operation and the main villain Alec Trevelyan was modeled after Hemmler Heinrich, just it was changing of sides where the villains transformed from Germans to Russians (ex-Soviets, Americans only see Russians as enemies, even after the fall of Soviet Union. Don't listen to their bullshit when they keep telling people that they're friends, alright?), and rather than using flying soldiers, they replaced them instead with hair-spray satellite which is called "GoldenEye". Well, that's that. Same year, the story was both novelized and also released as a comic-book, seperated in three parts. As for the controversy between Daniel Craig and GoldenEye project, he may have starred as Bond in the game of the same name, entitled GoldenEye 007: The Remake in 2010.

Video Games[change]

Respective video game developers, Rareware, have developed a gamed called GoldenEye 007 which was a loose adaption of the film. However, it recieved both critical and commercial success. However, some modern day gamers today bought Activision's new shit Call of Duty and played them all along. The thing is, if you play Call of Duty, you never play it. You briefly push buttons on the controller and the game itself plays on, made to entertain some jerks. When the 007 gaming licesne was aquired by Craptivision, they COD-ized it and only used the franchise to make games under "GoldenEye" name. They ruined the legacy, to be honest as they ruined the gaming universe with their Call of Duty shit. Their first attempt to make a remake of GoldenEye 007 game had come up in late 2009 and was assured in 2010. They chose one of the world's most respected developers, Eurocom (who developed several Bond games before) to develop a new GoldenEye 007. They did it. But, Craptivision wanted to COD-ize it. So, Eurocom refused it and when was tried to be forced to do that, they walked out. Assholes team, Treyarch replaced them and COD-ized their brilliant work, making it a despicable title. They never made an actual Bond game, and sucked the franchise out. Craptivision were ashamed of themselves for not announcing that they suck, and Eurocom left them AND INSTEAD, Treyarch "finished" the development. They even replaced Pierce Brosnan with Daniel Craig in the script. The only respective thing in the game was that Daniel Craig performed good motion capture and stunts. Otherwise, it completely sucks.

Here are the titles from Activision:

  • GoldenEye 007: The Remake
  • GoldenEye 007: Reloaded
  • GoldenEye 007: Reloaded Again
  • GoldenEye 007: Reloaded After Reloaded
  • GoldenEye 007: Re-Reloaded
  • GoldenEye 007: Rogue Agent (it was actually made by Activision, they forced EA Games to release it)
  • GoldenEye 007: Not So Rogue Agent
  • GoldenEye 007: We Like This Name
  • GoldenEye 007: We Like The Title
  • Call of Duty: GoldenEye 2 (its the same game but was added with abit Tomorrow Never Dies)
  • Call of Duty: GoldenEye 3 (its the same game but was added with abit Die Another Day)
  • GoldenEye 007: The Return of "GoldenEye 007" name
  • GoldenEye 007: Rebooted
  • GoldenEye 007: Gold Edition
  • GoldenEye 007: Platinum Edition
  • GoldenEye 007: Call of Duty Edition
  • GoldenEye 007: We Don't Know What Should We Name The Sub-title
  • GoldenEye 007: Named After Ian Fleming's Villa
  • GoldenEye 007: Blah Blah Blah
  • GoldenEye 007: You Know Its Name
  • GoldenEye 007: The Last One To Be Released
  • GoldenEye 007: It Never Ends
  • GoldenEye 007: Forever
  • GoldenEye 007: Huh??
  • GoldenEye 007: Activision Can Only Make This
  • GoldenEye 007: The Only Bond Game
  • GoldenEye 007: The Only Only Bond Game
  • GoldenEye 007: We'll Kick Your Ass With This Title
  • GoldenEye 007: Bang Boom Boom Bang!!
  • GoldenEye 007: Never Say Never
  • GoldenEye 007: Mission Is Possible
  • GoldenEye 007: No One Ever But Daniel Craig
  • GoldenEye 007: We Know We Suck, But We Don't
  • GoldenEye 007: SHH!

After finished off re-releasing thousand times from the same title, Activision announced a new game called James Bond 007: Secret Warfare (believed to be a 007 version of Modern Warfare video game) which is itself as always in First-Person Perspective and has what it takes to be Call of Duty clone (regenarating health, no plot, QTE system, no gameplay). It stars Daniel Craig again as James Bond in the mould of a comedian as reported.

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