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History is the recording of stuff that happened in the past. It goes from prehistory (before history) where people ate, slept, and made babies to modern history where people eat, sleep, and make babies. Many scientists agree evolution is responsible for humans getting smarter as history goes on. Some people, called creationists, believe a guy in the sky was responsible.

The study of history has fascinated many people, who we call historians. They, instead of getting a real job, get paid by colleges to look up on Google study stuff people did in the past. Curious students, like you, look it up on Simple English Uncyclopedia expecting all the answers. However, most of what you get is pure bologna. And not the good Oscar Mayer kind. The bad Piggly Wiggly kind.

So, what makes up history? Let's find out.


Prehistory literally means before history. The people who existed back in these days were called cavemen. They were probably called cavemen because they lived in caves. A famous caveman, Fred Flintstone, was so popular in prehistory an animated sitcom was made about him.

Cavemen carved useless pictures dumbarses called archaeologists today try to make sense out of. The Flintstones are the first caveman family to be known to us.

The Rise of Civilization[change]

After cavemen got fed up of eating and crouching, they decided to move together and create areas to grow food called farms.

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