Super Moses

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Super Moses with the Tablets of Justice, the Headband of Righteousness and the look of Stupidity

Super Moses is Superman's Moses alter-ego. He parts water and that's a lame superpower. He does crap and stuff. His notable accomplishments and talents include dodging capital punishment as a baby, killing a guy with a stone, being in the hood with God, and saving the Cannanites from Egypt with passing over. He is also considered mentally insane, since he has claimed to have talked to burning bushes that call themselves "Yahweh".


  • Parting water
  • Supposedly talking to burning bushes
  • Turning water into whine[1]
  • Killing people with his staff that can turn into a serpent
  • Being cool with God and bribing for getting forgiveness for murder and then creating regulation against it
  • Creating useless legislation obeyed by Jews with lightning on a stone such as "Thou shalt not eateth of this banana"
  • Saving Cannanites from Pharoah

What He Did[change]

Super Moses was born in a manger and floated in a river after some idiot decided to kill baby boys. He was swept to Egypt where he was raised by some doofuses and killed some guy. Then God decided for some odd reason to ordain him with superpowers that suck, like parting water.[2] He only used the last one once. He passed legislation after delivering the Sodomites from Pharoah after escaping by using some magic blood from flying goats and passed over or something like that. Moses died.

After Moses' Death[change]

Stuff happened.

See Also[change]

  1. Although I coulda sworn that was Jesus
  2. Yeah, why not X-Ray vision, flying, mind reading, or texting while driving?